This is not your year.

14 random things:


This is a blog thing. You have to write 14 random things about yourself.


1. I have dreams once a week about riding the airport tran to the gate to go to Japan. I am always unprepared for it. Maybe I haven't pack any clothes, don't have enough money for a ticket or don't have a passport. But, I always wake up, stressed about not getting there. Its starting to creep me out. I really have no desire to go to Japan. I don't even think Hello Kitty is that cute.



2. I can not name all fifty states. Once, someone bet me that I couldn't, so I tried to write them all down. I fell short at 47. Sorry, Nebraska, Oklahoma and Vermont. You are just not that important.



3. I am obsessed with Q-tips and wax free ears. I candled my ears once. Flames get really really close to your hair. I wouldn't advise doing it alone.



4. When I was a teenager, I had a guinea pig named Callie. She loved me and would go to sleep inside of my hoodie, doing an odd sort of purring. My aunt's German Shepherd thought she was a toy when she was visiting and got in my room. I found Callie lifeless on a pile on clothes, shaken to her little piggy death. My family gave her a Greek burial, making a funeral pyre and shipping her off into the river. I didn't attend. I still have dreams that she is running loose in my old bedroom.



5. I am incapable of thinking that people are all bad, even if I really dislike them.



6. My dad was a pilot and had his own 4-seat Cessna. I have flown a plane. Not take off or landing, but once in the air, I was allowed to co-pilot and do zig zags through the sky.



7. I am a terribly messy person. Not unclean, just sooo messy. Any place I have ever lived always has dozens of clothes strewn about.



8. Doing this 16 random things thing has made me realize what a true narcissistic nancy I am. I hope you guys will join me.



9. I can't ever make up my mind of how I want life to be. If I visit a city, I want to live there. Or the country, I can see myself sitting on a wrap around porch and riding horses all day. If I am around children, I want them, but thinking about actually having that responsibility makes me cringe. This makes me either extremely flighty or highly adjustable. Or a victim of my surroundings. Easily swayed.



10. When I was in college, the writing department encouraged us to write freely and honestly about our lives: sexual encounters, drug use etc. I did and was good at it. Re-reading old essays, I am completely shocked at myself that I wrote so freely about that. Part of me is embarrassed, part of me wishes I still had that brazen I-don't-care-what-you-think, this-happened attitude.



11. I talk to my cat. I just asked her if she knew where my white shirt was. Its kinda scary.


12. I used to hide that I still played Barbies at age 11 from my family. I wanted to grow up so fast and was worried they would judge me.


13. When I was little, I used to collect music boxes, snowglobes and porcelain dolls. When I wanted to scare myself, I would wind them all up and sit in the dark, listening to all the strange music it made. Then I would run and sleep in my brother's room. He had two twin beds, because I didn't like to ever sleep in my own room. I was sure that ALF lived under my bed and would take leaps off of it, so he couldn't grab me and pull me under.



14. My mom is the coolest, most unconventional mother ever. Of her acomplishments, she found a baby raccoon and kept it as her pet, would dream up the worst hangover punishments when I got caught drinking at a young age (scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush, etc.), took care of my dying father in his own bed, as he wished, with unswerving strength and a steady hand. She somehow made us believe that it was all going to be okay and showed the most unselfish dedication to making sure her husband's dignity was preserved. At age 50, she took a job that I would be afraid to take now, traveling with a crew of ruffians all over the country, and holds court over them, making them both fear her wit and respect her tenacity. She takes the crazy lady, who lives up the street and screams at god in a lawn chair in the middle of the street, food and has the most unabashed sense that she has been through it all and doesn't care what you think of her attitude I have ever seen, even if I know that is not the case. She backs me up, no matter what poor life choices I am making and can make me laugh harder than anyone I know. Whew.



So I am supposed to tag people to do this. I tag CHRIS!!!!!!!! BRANDON, RAMIE, STEVE, THE JEFFS, JASON and anyone else who stumbles on this blog. Do it.