The day breaks, your mind aches.

It is quite possible that I will delete this by the time I roll out of bed in what is sure to be the afternoon. Nothing good can come out of a directionless blog written during a bout of insomnia. I did try really hard to go to bed early, which makes me all the more annoyed. At two, I decided that I would watch some movie with Jake Gyllenhall and cutie pie Reese Witherspoon. You'd think that was a romantic comedy, right? Well, without my glasses, I didn't bother to read, and just turned it on, hoping it would bore me into sleep submission. Nope. Huge drama about a women whose husband is taken by our government on suspected terrorism to another country to be tortured. I totally forget what this movie is called now, even though I literally just finished watching it. Retribution, maybe? Whatever, Reese is running around Washington DC in her third trimester and terrorists are plotting jihad. Now, when I try to go to sleep, I just picture a bunch of scary men who hate us and scary governments who don't know what to do so they torture people on any sort of suspicious activity. Its why I hardly pay attention to any sort of war talk. It stresses me out so bad, I can't sleep.

So, chamomile tea is making me have Gwen Stefani play in my head. Terrorists and Gwen. Minds are so weird. Especially when really really tired.

Christmas is like three days away and the Christmas spirit has not even begun to sneak up on me. Not at all. I was thinking earlier about how happy I was that Ramie had me over to decorate her Christmas Tree. (Thanks Rams) It kept it from this being the first year of my life that I didn't decorate one. Although, the fact that I don't have one in my house, kind of makes me feel like a 28 year old version of my grandma that brandon loves so much. Except I don't have a cause. I just don't have any desire to have a tree. and society can't make me. In good news though, I currently have, in my office, enough chocolate and candy to wipe out a large colony of diabetics. Funeral homes just keep sending them to my department and its really nice. But there is soooo much! If any one needs a few pounds, let me know.

Hmm, what else can I bore you with? This should really just be an email to someone. Then I am only affecting one sorry soul instead of all of you (or three of you). My first boyfriend made national news today. His house was raided. In it, they found cocaine, a whole weed growing operation, mushrooms, 88 guns (automatic and...manual?). They said he was responsible for delivering 50 kilos of cocaine to Western PA over four years. I think that is a lot. Man, I used to know how to pick 'em. You know those movies about kids and in the end they say what happened to them when they grew up. Like Stand By Me? Sometimes I look back on people I used to know, and its astounding what happens to them and I wish I would have written the story and these wouldn't have been the final results. Like, how on earth do you go from being an 8th grade kid to that? Its a good read. http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribunereview/search/s_603803.html

Also, today was the first day of winter. I just learned this, because I personally thought it has felt like it since September. I keep making promises to myself when I walk outside into 2 degree weather that this will be my last north eastern winter. I even further kid myself by meandering around the Nashville craigslist looking at apartments (which are so cheap and nice) and jobs. But, I know myself, I'm going to be making these promises every year until I am 80. Then its Tennessee for sure.

Thanks for reading this mess if you got through it. Its 4:46 and think I will go organize closets or something. Also, I might think its funny in a few hours to give some of you wake up calls. And I might guesstimate what time you actually set your alarms, so you may get to wake up early and get a jump start on your days. You can thank me later. I picture Ramie just jumping through the receiver at me.

And, I think Jim Croce slays. Yes, SLAYS. Operator is such an underrated song.