Would you like some cheese with that whine?

I have nothing to blog about, but a bunch of complaining to do.

Things that annoy me right now:

1. Awful Haircuts.

I'll be wearing a lot of ponytails and buns this fall, apparently. On Friday, after a few atomic cups of coffee at my brother's house, I decided to go along with my sister-in-law and get a haircut while she got hers colored. I thought it would be a good bonding experience. Wrong, wrong wrong. We go to her hairdressers and the first sign that things were going to go terribly wrong was that the stylist was wearing crocks.

Hot pink freaking crocks.

I think that they also had some sort of lime green embellishments on the sides, but I can't be sure. I averted my eyes because they could not take the assult.

Top five fashion crimes:

1. shorts (especially on boys)

2. crocks

3. footless tights or leggings or any sort of pants that are not pants.

4. black paired with brown

5. the perm

Anyways, Jess complimented her new haircolor. And the woman said it was a wig. Which kind of broke my heart and I was thinking this woman was maybe a cancer survivor or something. Now I think that she just severely chopped up her own hair.

Okay, I know I am blogging about my hair, and its really lame and girly. 1. my name is narcisstic nancy. 2. Ramie blogged about f*$k me boots.

So, the croc woman sits me down in the chair, acts like she has never seen hair as long as mine in her life (judging by the clientel of balding 80 year olds who had their hair set in rollers before me, she may not have.) I tell her to take as little off the ends as possible, just a trim to get the dead stuff off. She then, without washing my hair, just starts making mad wacks at my hair with the sheers. Boom. Three inches of biotin vitamins, conditioning treatments and patience, just lopped off by this croc wearing sadist. Then she just started chopping layers in my unwashed, partially curly hair. She went after my bangs and I stopped her. I had to go home and cut them myself.

I hate getting my haircut. Its traumatic. I hate the small talk and the probing questions. I do like the shampoos though, and I didn't even get that. Even Chad, who is usually fearful enough of me to tell me I look nice when I ask, told me he hates this haircut. He said it makes me look ordinary (?). Ugly, yes. Ordinary, not so much. Pretty soon I will be wearing crocks and thinking I am edgy.

2. The Matrix

I went to Julie's bachelorette party at the Matrix on Saturday night. Let me preface this with admitting that my bachelorette party was, indeed, at the Matrix. I also drank a ton before going to that. And I am glad the lovely Julie had a good time, and I can see why its important for brides to do that before they get married. But, while the brides are having a good time, the rest of us are getting hit on my the smarmiest of men. One popped-collar blazer wearing boy just stood beside me, making the strangest small talk ever. Like minutes of me ignoring him, he'd still be lurking. This other, probably 40-year-old man (okay, if I am 27 and feel I am too old to be at the Matrix, you mid-life, should definately go home to get up early for church on Sunday.) kept saying weird things to me like I see you are married, I can help you out of that ring if you want," and I would glare at him, and he'd laugh and slur, "Imma just fuckin' wit youuu." Gross, gross. I don't know how people actually go there and take themselves seriously. There is absolutely nothing good about this place. (except for the photos of Marilyn Monroe hanging in the Goddess room. But, even she looks a little bored.) And girls dancing on the bar in your little dresses: Those old men sitting on the bar stools right below your gyrating bum? Yeah, they can see your Britney.

3. Turnpike stupidity

This bothers me every day. WHY do people not use every open stall availble at the toll booths. The ones on the far right and left are always empty. The ones in the middle have cars lined up. And the easy pass lanes. Just a waste. Why are people so unable to utilize ALL of the booths. Are they scared of lane changes after they pay their toll? Because I cut off semi-trucks. They are just starting out, they won't catch me. The whole phenomenon reminds me of when little kids play soccer and they just travel about the field in a big mass.

4. People calling me Kathy

I really like my name. I was named after a woman on a pocket watch my mother owned. She thought the woman cradling a baby looked like a Katherine. She is kind of strange, but I like to name things as well. I don't have a problem with the name Kathy. Its not like Brenda, which I hate. Or SOOKIE. But, I have been mistaken for Kathy all of my life. First it was a school, now on random emails at work. It feels like a slap in the face when it happens. Nothing is worse than working really hard, doing someone a favor and getting a "Thanks, Kathy!!!" Response email. I can't wait til I hit 40 and go by Katherine all the time. By then I will have perfected my snooty voice and can say, "Its not Kathy. Its Katherine. Deal with it." No, I just sqeak out the monosylabic Kate.

I will bad that this is all complaining. I was going to round it out with a number five so I could be all High Fidelity-esque. But I will just make a top ten list of things I am grateful for and happy about.

And I am doing that with ten minutes left of work, so it-like the rest of this blog, was not well-thought out.

1. The fact that the Velveteen Rabbit is coming to the Byham Theater and I got tickets!

2. My security guard for the day was reading Star magazine. He's like 65.

3. Heroes new season starts tonight!!

4. I am very grateful for my friends. I feel blessed everyday that I have such good ones.

5. Jeff is coming home for Christmas. Which makes me happy in itself. It also reminds me that it will be time for the Thanksgiving/Christmas friend events which are my favorite!

6. Today was the perfect fall-ish mornng. Foggy and cool, perfect tea-drinking weather.

7. Donora has a show on Wednesday. This always make me happy.

8. A funeral director just called me kiddo. I like that.

9. Thinking about racing golf carts yesterday made me smile.

10. I get to go home now!